A better day....

aaahhh..a much better day today...after all the feelings of last week. Lots of people have been giving me little looks of encouragement and hope that perhaps I am coping after all! I work in a charity and being the only secretary with a staff of 15 is extremely challenging (to say the least!). I cope most of the time – when I’m on top form – but sometimes…just sometimes…I have to draw aside and be kind to me, myself and I!!

I sometimes look around and see that everyone else seem to be just fine…but are they? Or are they acting well today? I am trying more and more to be me…good or not so good…trying not to wear that mask that hangs on the back of the office door. Very difficult…but needed.

On a brighter note…I am attending my book group tonight…yeah! I meet up with five other friends and we have read 7 books over the past 7 months (not too many…but enough in between so many other commitments. I love to discuss characters…storylines and descriptions...although in reality it may be just an excuse for a lovely coffee with dear friends!

Thanks to all my friends here at this little space for their concern and insights!

Peace…Mojo

Yeah...back on line!

Well...here I am ... out of hiding!

Now...looking below you can tell I'm under pressure!! I tried to blog four times yesterday and it came up with an error...and look at what printed this morning!!!

Sorry for all the duplicates...I'm blaming my computer...not my stress levels!!

Today is a little bit better for me...trying to keep on top of things for the moment at least. Playing soft music through my computer speakers at work to lull me in a sense of calm...mmmm....we shall see!

I will write again soon...
Sorry for the mess below HA HA

Test blog!

Hi all...my blog is not playing ball...just checking that I'm reaching you! If so..will write more later....

Stress...what stress?

Seriously stressed right now…which is very unlike me! I’m usually the person everyone else comes to when they’re stressed!

I really don’t know why I’m feeling at the end of my rope most of the time right now. I guess I’ve had a hectic kind of a summer (very enjoyable…but much too hectic!). I am trying to have some ‘me’ time…went swimming for the first time in a long time at the weekend…read a book…took a walk…but I really do need to be still and listen to the Lord whispering in my ear. I’ve been bursting into floods of tears at the slightest thing…even my boss said I should take some time off…but that’s just not me (or maybe it should be!!).

One of my blog friends - Tom – said ‘be happily creative’ – I’m loving that phrase already and will set aside some quality time to do just that! Any other ideas would be very welcome!

I pray that your little corner of the world is lovely!

Bye…until next time….MOJO

Stress..what stress?!!

Seriously stressed right now…which is very unlike me! I’m usually the person everyone else comes to when they’re stressed! Sleepless nights...aching head...aaahhhh

I really don’t know why I’m feeling at the end of my rope most of the time right now. I guess I’ve had a hectic kind of a summer (very enjoyable…but much too hectic!). I am trying to have some ‘me’ time…went swimming for the first time in a long time at the weekend…read a book…took a walk…but I really do need to be still and listen to the Lord whispering in my ear. I’ve been bursting into floods of tears at the slightest thing…even my boss said I should take some time off…but that’s just not me (or maybe it should be!!).

One of my blog friends - Tom – said ‘be happily creative’ – I’m loving that phrase already and will set aside some quality time to do just that! Any other ideas would be very welcome!

I pray that your little corner of the world is lovely!

Bye…until next time….MOJO

Stress...what stress!!?

Seriously stressed right now…which is very unlike me! I’m usually the person everyone else comes to when they’re stressed! I'm not used to headaches, sore limbs and sleeplessness...so it's like looking in at someone else's worries!!

I really don’t know why I’m feeling at the end of my rope most of the time right now. I guess I’ve had a hectic kind of a summer (very enjoyable…but much too hectic!). I am trying to have some ‘me’ time…went swimming for the first time in a long time at the weekend…read a book…took a walk…but I really do need to be still and listen to the Lord whispering in my ear. I’ve been bursting into floods of tears at the slightest thing…even my boss said I should take some time off…but that’s just not me (or maybe it should be!!).

One of my blog friends - Tom – said ‘be happily creative’ – I’m loving that phrase already and will set aside some quality time to do just that! Any other ideas would be very welcome!

I pray that your little corner of the world is lovely!

Bye…until next time….MOJO

Stress....what stress!!?

Seriously stressed right now…which is very unlike me! I’m usually the person everyone else comes to when they’re stressed! So I am a little worried by these headaches...sleeplessness...anxiety etc.

I really don’t know why I’m feeling at the end of my rope most of the time right now. I guess I’ve had a hectic kind of a summer (very enjoyable…but much too hectic!). I am trying to have some ‘me’ time…went swimming for the first time in a long time at the weekend…read a book…took a walk…but I really do need to be still and listen to the Lord whispering in my ear. I’ve been bursting into floods of tears at the slightest thing…even my boss said I should take some time off…but that’s just not me (or maybe it should be!!).

One of my blog friends - Tom – said ‘be happily creative’ – I’m loving that phrase already and will set aside some quality time to do just that! Any other ideas would be very welcome!

I pray that your little corner of the world is lovely!

Bye…until next time….MOJO

Back to reality!!

After last week's time away with lots of old friends and some lovely new ones...it's back to reality with a bump!! Although I'm excited about the coming months at work...it will be extremely busy and I always get a kind of nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach...a little like the feeling I used to get going back to a new school term (that was a LONG time ago!!). I guess everyone is a little bit like that...huh?

I had some fab talks with people who are so different from me...it is a joy for me to meet a stranger and a few days later feel like I'm leaving a new friend. I love that process! It amazes me how communicating with someone can be so powerful and fulfilling.

How are things with you? Please do tell! bye for now...Mojo

Being creative!

Hello all who blog along with me...
Well...I'm sitting in a little internet cafe at the art festival in England....wonderful to be back here! It poured with rain last night but looking a little brighter this morning. Thankfully the tent didn't leak and I had quite a long sleep...which I needed! All of the gang of friends had an early start yesterday morning as we boarded the plane to England. So...all is well with the world!

Have been to some talks...hope to do a lot of stuff today...there's an art exhibition and class later which I'm so looking forward to. Lots of music and some weird things as well - but all good!

I adore sitting outdoors...eating with close friends...makes my little world a better place. What are you all up to over this weekend...please do let me know!

Well...my time is almost up here...so must look at the festival programme and book some things in!
Bye from a soggy campsite! MOJO

When I say...

When I say "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost" that is why I chose this way

When I say "I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need someone to be my guide

When I say "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I am weak and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are too visible but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches which is why I seek HIS name.

When I say "I am a Christian" I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority I only know I'm loved.
-Unknown

Soul friends

I love it when someone reads this blog and just get where I'm coming from...they know where I'm coming from because they have travelled that particular path as well! There's no great need to explain why I feel the way I feel...they understand. There's no need to go into detail...because they see the bigger picture. I love that! I feel as I sit here and type these words that people do understand...and that makes me feel good.

I long for authentic conversations...real feelings coming to the surface...honesty...brokenness without fear...healing hands...listening ears....wow...

I will be away from the computer for a few days...going to an arts festival and so looking forward to being creative!!

Have a wonderful time ... and I'll 'see ya' when I get back!

MOJO

Silence

There's something to be said for keeping our big mouths shut! Seriously...being silent at the moment is the most meaningful thing for me. Yes...I love to worship at church...I love to sing...I love to talk (a lot!)...but being quiet is just about the best thing I have been doing this year! There's always a moment - maybe just a split second when thing just 'click'...when - in that silence - you know you are being held in the palm of God's hand...loved and accepted for all that you are. I love that God accepts our wholeness...not just the parts we expose to the world...but all of our shadows as well.

The weekend was great...filled with people I am myself with...my family and friends and some new people as well. Had lunch with a holiday friend - just met last month and we have so much to talk about...new friends are always an adventure...but old friends are always a joy!

I so appreciated all the new comments I've received...LOVE to get them! It's amazing to me the different types of people coming to this site...mums with young 'uns...younger 'cool' folk (HA!)...people going through tough times in their personal lives..people that seem to have the same hopes and fears that I do...all are very welcome and I hope to get to know you a little more. Take off your coat...pull your chair up closer to the fire and I'll get you a wee cuppa tea!! (well....I am from Ireland after all!!).

See you soon....Mojo

Irish Eyes

Following on from my last blog...there's something about eyes that facinate me...they really are windows to the soul. There is something so intimate when someone looks directly at you...something very disturbing as well...it's as if they're reading your thoughts - good or bad. Eyes can say more than words can ever say ... they, with a moment's flicker, can convey disappointment, joy, concern, sorrow, love, acceptance....whatever. I guess that's why it's sometimes difficult to make eye contact and keep it...even for more than a few seconds. In this blog I hope we can look directly at each other and not be afraid....

honesty

honesty...

I was have a heart to heart last night with a friend of mine and although we are both quite shy people - something happened ... the guards came down and the Lord blessed us both..
Being honest and open is difficult...very difficult...but when we overcome our fears and let another person close - it's a wonderful feeling. Do you know the feeling you sometimes get when you look someone in the eye and know that they know what you mean...REALLY MEAN...wow...something clicks!

I feel a little more like myself today...a little bit more comforted by the fact that people accept me for who I am...and kinda like me too! mojo

Feeling blue!

...do you ever feel just not like yourself? That's how I feel today...kind of detached from things...like looking in on someone elses life - can't quite explain what I mean. I need a hug (back to hugs again!). I'll probably be back to myself tomorrow...mmmm...we shall see x

...is anyone there?

Sometimes when I sit here at work (break time!) typing my little blog...I just wonder if there's anyone out there? I love to check in with my favourite bloggers and see what they're up to...I wondere if anyone does this at my little site? If you do...let me know - it'll be fun to know where on earth you are! I wonder if anyone can tell me if there's a way to help others to find you (any time I've tried to search my own site...it's never found!?)...any ideas anyone out there!?

Friends

Friends
Friends are amazing to me! How we meet people...are drawn to others...can be ourselves with people who were once strangers...crying on the shoulder of a person who has seen you at your lowest....laughing until you cry at silly things that happen...happening upon a blog and finding someone who you feel is a soul friend from the start...having affection for another - all of these things are wee miracles to me. I appreciate difference ... in looks...in speech...in taste...in interests - wouldn't life be so boring if we all liked the same things!!? Sometimes I find in talking to married friends (whom I am secretly envious of!) - that I have more meaningful conversations and can talk at a deeper level with my friends...than they can with their spouses. That's sad to me...maybe I still have a romantic view of marriage (having never been!)...where two souls are brought together and can look each other in the eye and know that no matter what - the other will always been on their side. Am I just looking through rose coloured glasses!!?

Well...friends of mine - some of whom I've never met! - have a wonderful weekend .... until next time...Mojo

Being real

Being real!
I want to be real...I want to get rid of the masks (well...most of them at least!) and I want to be authentic in my love and concern for others. But I am so focussed on me...me...me...all the time - what's that all about!? I sometimes feel like I'm taking the bricks out of the wall I put up to most people and I feel good on days like that. Then something happens - out of the blue - and I begin putting the bricks back in again.

I know I ask questions in the blog that only I can answer - but why don't I want my friends and family to know the real me - am I scared they will reject me...judge me? Deep down I know I have a good heart...so why do I worry so?

All in all..I've had a good week - lots of things happening....coffees out with friends...reading great books...working hard of course! But in the back of this little mind of mine...there's always a concern. I need to open myself to my Lord and have this heart healed by Him and accept myself as a good person. What about you?

mojox

Why do I feel anxious?

Why do I feel anxious?
There's this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach probably 99% of the time that says something is going to go wrong...someone will hurt you...you'll be blamed...(why do I feel like this?)

I have so much to be thankful for and so many lovely people and family in my life and yet this lie keeps me scared to death - can I 'get over it'? How do I do that...pray more? talk more? listen more? Any ideas from anyone would be helpful!!

Ahhh...how the mind plays tricks on us...x

Needing to be held

Is it just me...or do we have a need to be held once in a while? Being unattached is difficult...because there are no hugs forthcoming! Sometimes at the end of a busy week...lying in the arms of a loved one would be fabulous...but who to turn to! I don't want to appear needy...but this is a real need I have. You certainly can't go around just demanding hugs...how strange would that be! But if the Lord could just hear and answer this small thing - I would be very appreciative. I know it's not a big demand...but it would mean the world to me!

Have a beautiful, peaceful weekend....Mojo