Friday, August 04, 2006

Being real

Being real!
I want to be real...I want to get rid of the masks (well...most of them at least!) and I want to be authentic in my love and concern for others. But I am so focussed on the time - what's that all about!? I sometimes feel like I'm taking the bricks out of the wall I put up to most people and I feel good on days like that. Then something happens - out of the blue - and I begin putting the bricks back in again.

I know I ask questions in the blog that only I can answer - but why don't I want my friends and family to know the real me - am I scared they will reject me...judge me? Deep down I know I have a good why do I worry so?

All in all..I've had a good week - lots of things happening....coffees out with friends...reading great books...working hard of course! But in the back of this little mind of mine...there's always a concern. I need to open myself to my Lord and have this heart healed by Him and accept myself as a good person. What about you?


Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Why do I feel anxious?

Why do I feel anxious?
There's this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach probably 99% of the time that says something is going to go wrong...someone will hurt'll be blamed...(why do I feel like this?)

I have so much to be thankful for and so many lovely people and family in my life and yet this lie keeps me scared to death - can I 'get over it'? How do I do that...pray more? talk more? listen more? Any ideas from anyone would be helpful!! the mind plays tricks on us...x